1) make a list of fifteen characters first, and keep it to yourself for the moment. (that way you're not leading the questions asked to fit the characters.)

2) ask your flist to post questions in the comments.

3) after your flist has asked enough questions, round them up and answer them using the fifteen characters you selected beforehand, then post them.

character meme

1. Dana Scully (X-Files)
2. Xander Harris (Buffy)
3. Brian Schechter (bandom)
4. River Tam (Firefly)
5. Spencer Smith (bandom)
6. Pacey Witter (Dawson's Creek)
7. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
8. Greta Salpeter (bandom)
9. Tim Speedle (CSI: Miami)
10. John Sheppard (Stargate: Atlantis)
11. Bob Bryar (bandom)
12. Benton Fraser (due South)
13. Dan Rydell (Sports Night)
14. Patrick Stump (bandom)
15. Faith (Buffy)



from seimaisin:

What happens when you lock Brian Schechter, Greta Salpeter, and Bob Bryar in a closet together?

Short answer = sexytimes.

Long answer, well, it was only supposed to be Bob and Brian in the closet. They've been arguing - fighting, really - a lot lately and certain people ::coughGerardcough:: decide Something Needs To Be Done.

So he puts Frank on it.

Who thinks locking angry Schechters and Bryars in enclosed spaces is a fantastic idea. For reals. As long as he's on the other side of the door.

And Greta is there because, okay. She loves her boys, really a lot, but sometimes a girl just wants to read horrible pornographic continuations of Pride and Prejudice without the book being ripped out of her hands and dramatic readings regarding Mr. Darcy's manhood happening. Normally they're not so bad, but with everyone EVER wandering around Pete and Ashlee's compound for the christening, well, they're for sure playing to the audience.

Plus, Darren's long-standing mancrush on Patrick is getting a little embarrassing. Greta loves a trainwreck as much as the next girl, but this is starting to get out of hand. The only saving grace is that Patrick seems completely oblivious to the little drummer boy following him around.

So, she needs a break and the gigantic, walk-in linen closet on the third floor seems perfect. She makes a little nest of blankets and sips at her froofy, girly drink as she settles in to read about the Darcy honeymoon shenanigans. She only gets about 50 pages in before the door slams open and Frank Iero shoves Bob Bryar and the little guy she thinks is their manager into the closet and shuts the door, obviously wedging something under the knob to keep them in because Bob immediately tries to open it again. When it doesn't open easily, he bumps it with his shoulder, but nothing happens.

"Oh, that's great, Caveman Bob to the rescue."

"Fuck off. It's not my fault you're a halfling."

( - "UST," Greta had said to her Bob just the other night as they watched them bicker over the comfy chair in the upstairs lounge and he totally agreed - )

And Frank obviously agrees too because he yells through the door, "Either kill each other or fuck, but just stop fucking fighting."

That stops them for a second, but then they're both yelling out the door at Frank who has obviously done the smart thing and run away. The shouting somehow becomes about who at the last burrito sometime in 2005 and Greta really has had enough. She clears her throat quietly and it's enough to catch both of their attention. They turn and she smiles brightly from her pile of blankets, "Gentlemen."

Bob immediately turns bright pink and stares down at his shoes. The other guy's flush is less obvious, but just as charming. Even with the regrettable bling and tattoos, he's truly adorable. He shuffles his feet a little, "Hi. You're Greta, right?"

"Indeed I am," Greta rolls up to her feet as gracefully as she can manage and holds out her hand. "Greta Salpeter. I know you manage My Chemical Romance, but I don't think we've been introduced."

"Brian Schechter," He shakes her hand and gestures towards Bob, "Have you met Bob?"

"Never officially."

"Bob Bryar," He catches her hand in a firm grip and, oh my, those are very blue eyes. Greta was sure he'd been photoshopped in a couple of his promo shots, but apparently not.

Nice.

She smiles her very best smile at both of them and pushes her hair back over her shoulders. She gestures towards comfy little nest she'd built and says, "Why don't the both of you step into my parlor?"

You let Dana Scully and John Sheppard loose in the Mall of America. They're forced to stick together. What do they do?

Ahahahahahaha.

They're wary of each other at first. She's had enough of too-pretty men who move like predators and he's had enough of uptight bureaucrats dictating what he does, but after getting his ass handed to him at the NASCAR simulator ("No, come on. Best three out of five." -- "Quit whining, Colonel.") the tension breaks a little.

They both geek out in the Apple store, then spend the rest of the day trying on cashmere and silk in Nordstrom and Bloomingdales ("Oh, that's very nice on you." -- "I love it, but blood, you know..." -- "Yeah.")

When McKay and Mulder come pick them up after their respective declassification meetings (don't ask why they're in Minnesota, McKay will answer you. In detail.), they discover the two of them surrounded by dessert plates and empty cocktail glasses at the Twin City Grille.

Which other person on the list (who doesn't belong to his/her band/fandom) would Tim Speedle secretly want to have mad sexytimes with?

At first glance, it's more a question of who wouldn't Speed want mad sexytimes with.

Upon further examination, though, people are struck off for being too young (seriously, Spencer Smith, you might be 21, but you are still jailbait) or too crazy ('I've been rehabilitated' doesn't really work on a cop, Faith) or not home enough (sorry musicians - though Speed was almost ready to dump this rule when he heard Patrick's cover of Tom Traubert's Blues).

The truth is, after his way-too-close brush with death (canon schmanon) before he left Miami for New York and home, all he wants is a quiet life. The settlement from the gun manufacturer means that he really never needs to work again, plus he's a simple guy - books and music are all he really wants in his life - so when he takes a driving tour of the coast, stops for directions in Capeside, and just never leaves it's not a problem.

He makes use of his dad's cooking lessons when the chef at the largest restaurant in town bugs out and he's up to his elbows in the spicy peanut slaw he introduced last month when he hears who he assumes is the absent owner clattering around in the dining room.

"I have returned, dearest Capeside! Free at last from the shackles wrapped around my heart lo those many years ago. Free to make hay, to sow my - HOLY CRAP! Who are you?"

"I'm Tim, your cook. You wanna hand me the rice vinegar?"

"I'm Pacey Witter, the owner of this fine establishment." Pacey hands him the vinegar. His smile is wide and his eyes are blue and Tim thinks maybe he wants something more.

from misspamela:

Pacey Witter brings Bob Bryar home to meet the family. What happens?

It's sort of a surprise to everyone, of course. Pacey'd left Capeside with Joey for New York a few years back and they'd all heard about it through Doug when they'd broken up. There'd been speculation about Pacey moving back home to run the restaurant again, but it wasn't really a surprise when he decided not to.

Him moving to Jersey to open a diner was a surprise, but not as big a one as the date he brought to Jack and Doug's wedding.

It was surprising enough that it was a guy, but apparently he was some big rock star too. Alexander and Lily had stopped in their tracks when Pacey introduced them and spent the rest of the day being extremely non-covert in their tracking of Bob's movements.

Jack and Doug knew him already. They'd all met in New York over the last school holiday of Jack's and had a semi-awkward dinner.

Dawson was obviously trying to wrap his head around the idea of Pacey being gay ("I'm bi, you idiot." "Right. Bi. Right. Okay."), but when Bob made some low-voiced comment about the latest comic book movie, Dawson perked right up and talked at him for about 45 minutes. Bob was really glad he had practice on the whole nod-and-smile thing from living with Gerard and Frankie.

Joey showed up late and spent most of the reception staring after Pacey with big, tragic eyes that would have made Bob just the slightest bit ragey if he'd noticed, but he didn't. He was too busy avoiding the dancefloor and getting pulled into dark corners by Pacey.

from secrethappiness:

Xander Harris and Faith get caught hooking up by Hermoine Granger. Where are they and what happens next?

Xander and Faith are, perhaps, the least suited of anyone ever to be sent to liaise with the Wizarding Government in Britain, but Giles had been insistent that they "remove themselves and their incessant sniping" to another locale.

Somehow, while Faith is running hand-to-hand drills with the Aurors -

("We have magic, ma'am, we don't need to fight."

"What happens if someone breaks your little magic stick?"

The stuffy magic guy barely finished scoffing before Faith had her hand in his robes and his wand bent close to snapping.

"I'm not the only one who got the souped up package, Nigel."

"It's Geoffrey, ma'am."

"Sure thing.") -

Xander finds himself arguing with some jackass who wants to tag and put down all werewolves. It's like talking to a polite brick wall and Xander can barely restrain himself from reaching across the table to physically slap some sense into this idiot when Faith drops into the chair next to him and says, "Let's get some lunch."

He leaves the lackey to stew and follows Faith out onto the busy street to the little tavern they're staying at until more permanent arrangements can be made. They eat quickly and are back on the street before too long. Xander cracks his neck and swings his arms a little, feeling the pre-battle adrenaline rush from the thought of continuing the confrontation with Weedy McAnemia in the office. When he's done, Faith's eyes are sharp on his face.

"What?"

She grabs his arm and pulls him into the Ministry building and down a hallway without answering. She pushes him into an office and slams the door shut behind them before kissing him with lots of tongue. He has a brief moment of flail before mentally shrugging and sliding his hands over her hips to her ass.

If he's going to get his ass kicked later, he's totally making it worth it.

Faith doesn't protest at all and, in fact, hitches herself a little closer. Xander's just started his internal gonna-get-some dance when the door next to him opens and the scarily efficient woman who had done their orientation bustled halfway into the room before realizing they were there.

"Oh! Dear. Sorry!"

Xander froze where he was, but Faith pulled back slowly, biting the underside of his chin before looking over her shoulder at the flustered woman. "Oh, no. I'm sorry, Hermione. I had no idea this was your office."

There's something syrupy sweet and fake about Faith's voice, but Xander learned a long time ago to trust a Slayer's body well before her words and her hands are gently petting the sides of his neck, so when she nudges him towards the door, he goes without hesitation.

It's not until their back in the closet that's his temporary office that he says, "You know she's happily married, right?"

Faith just smirks before kissing him again and swaggering out of the room to kick some more Wizard ass.

Tim Speedle and Benton Fraser decide to do something together in the spirit of bonding. What is it?

Fraser, it turns out, loves Tim's motorcycle.

They first came to Miami on the trail of the 8 exotic animal smugglers, a dozen macaws, and two score sugar gliders and, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, Ray threatened Fraser with bodily harm if he didn't "just stop, for the love all things holy and let me drink this margarita as big as my head."

Fortuitously, one of the crime lab technicians is drinking a glass of water further down the bar and he looks up when Fraser steps up next to him. "Constable Fraser."

"Mr. Speedle, I wanted to thank you again for your invaluable information regarding local exotic pet stores."

"Just doing my job, Constable."

"Yes, well," Fraser shifts awkwardly because the conversation is obviously done, but Ray is still sipping at the enormous pink drink in front of him and was quite clear in his instructions.

Speed's eyes flick over towards Ray, then back to Fraser's uncomfortable stance and he finishes off his water before gesturing outside, "Come on. Let's get out of here for a while."

How does Patrick Stump get River Tam to finally shut up?

He sings, of course.

Look, Patrick has nothing against crazy people.

Obviously.

What he does have a problem with is when crazy girls appear out of thin air in his kitchen. Okay?

This girl is different from the crazy he recognizes, though. She's not a fan--there's no recognition on her face when she looks at him--and she's talking complete nonsense about the future and spaceships and blue hands and it's frankly giving him a headache. She doesn't seem dangerous, but she herded him into the corner farthest from the phone and will now let him out as she talks and talks and talks at him, sometimes in what he'd swear was Chinese.

He gives up trying to reason with her after about fifteen minutes and starts humming under his breath, trying to work out the bridge on a new song that's been giving him fits. It's her silence that catches his attention and he starts quietly singing "Golden" to see if she stays quiet. She does, so he keeps singing, hoping to god Pete gets home sometime in the very near future.

Patrick starts in on some Prince, but stops when she shakes her head sharply and says, "No. You and him only. Please."

He nods and after a second starts up again, this time sticking to what he and Pete have written. He's just about to resort to stuff off the first album when a huge guy holding, holy shit, a really huge gun blinks into existence in the middle of the room.

"Crazy, we only got a couple of minutes. Hurry."

The girl nods over her should and turns back to smile sweetly at Patrick. She leans forward, kisses his cheek and says, "Thank you," before hopping up and grabbing onto the huge guy's arm and disappearing into thin air.

Patrick is still sitting on the kitchen floor when Pete gets home.

from sinsense

Spencer Smith and Dan Rydell have the worst luck trying to hook up -- what happens?

They meet at a political rally Pete throws at Angels and Kings and the connection is instant. Neither one makes a habit of random hookups. Especially with other men, but there's something there.

Of course, they don't have a chance to exchange more than ten words before Brendon crashes into Spencer's back and drags him away to do...something. Panic is back out on tour the next day so Spencer thinks it's just an opportunity lost. Until they end up playing in the same place as the NCAA Final Four and in the same hotel as the Sports Night crew.

Spencer's just settled in next to Danny at the hotel bar when a tiny brunette yanked him out of his seat and said, "UCLA grade fixing. Get upstairs now."

Another opportunity lost.

It goes on like this for months. After the fourth time, Spencer manages to get Dan his phone number so they have totally weird and random text message exchanges because Spencer knows nothing about sports and Dan really isn't up on Panic's scene.

Eventually, though, Panic takes a couple weeks off touring and Dan manages to sneak away from New York for a long weekend.

It's not love, but it's fun and they stay rather bizarre friends.

from doll_revolution

Hermione Granger, Xander Harris, and River Tam go into the north woods to go "hunting". Do any of them, in fact, actually shoot something? if so, what happens?

You expect to put a gun in River's hands and not have something get shot?

Luckily, it is the F'grane demon they are hunting and Xander is pretty damn impressed with her marksmanship and asks for tips. Hermione thinks just killing something without trying to reason with it is a dreadful thing, but she's only been hunting with them for a few weeks and hasn't really seen some of the worst things the world can offer.

Spencer Smith, Greta Salpeter, and Dan Rydell make a movie together. What's it about, who stars in it?

It's a few months after their one weekend together that Spencer calls Dan and says, "Wanna be in my movie?"

"Is this a movie that will get me fired when it inevitably ends up all over the internet?"

Spencer snorts, "Don't be a jackass. Just be in Chicago the weekend of the 19th."

Dan's not really worried, so he goes to Chicago to meet up with Spencer.

Which is how Dan Rydell ends up starring with Greta Salpeter in a short film by Spencer Smith, written by Ryan Ross, and scored by Brendon Urie and Jon Walker.

Tim Speedle, Pacey Witter, and Patrick Stump encounter the zombie apocalypse. What happens? Is Ash there?

Zombies. Actual, brain-eating zombies. Tim would never have believed it it he hadn't seem Alexx's dead body get up and eat Horatio's head. He'd shot the hell out of both of them before buying as many guns as he could get his hands on and taking off for New York and his parents in one of the department Hummers. He'd picked up Patrick and Pacey in New York city a couple of days ago and knew they just had to hold on until the military finished containing this mess.

Ash is not there, but Patrick dearly wishes he were. Tim is a damn fine shot with all the guns they'd appropriated from Wal-Mart and Pacey is quite handy with the ax, but Patrick is a musician. A small musician who is going to kill Gerard and Mikey Way if it turns out this is their fault. He knows this clusterfuck is confined to the East Coast and he knows Pete and the rest of his friends are safe far away -- he was in NYC on a layover on his way home to Chicago -- so all he has to worry about is keeping himself from dying a horrible grisly death.

Pacey is mostly in denial. Zombies are not real, but something sure as hell ate Joey & Dawson just after they'd told him they'd been seeing each other on the sly for several months, so he's just going to keep killing whatever hot-ass Tim tells him to. Once this is all over, he's pretty sure he's going to have the biggest meltdown in the history of mankind, but for now, he's got zombies to behead.

Brian Schechter and Benton Fraser never expect the Spanish Inquisition. OR DO THEY??!?

Okay, so it's not exactly the Spanish Inquisition, but Brian should have known something like this was going to happen; things had been going entirely too well for him lately. My Chem was on hiatus being all domestic and staying out of trouble. Riot Squad was slowly but surely growing into something formidible. Most importantly, Bob had invited him out to Chicago to explore the thing between them.

So, of course, he'd been picked up in O'Hare and dragged into the police station because he matched the description of some dirtbag distributing kiddie porn. He'd handed over his laptop and Blackberry without protest and settled in one of the interrogation rooms after calling his lawyer and Bob. Almost immediately, a detective and... a Mountie? Really? join him in the room. He answers all of the detective's questions honestly and absolutely does not react when the guy gets wound tighter and tighter.

Just before it looks like Brian's going to have a police brutality lawsuit on his hands the Mountie (seriously! A Mountie!) steps in and reels the detective back in a little. After that everything seems to happen at once. The tech guys surface from their cave full of apologies and his fingerprints come back totally different from the scumbag they're looking for, and Bob comes storming into the police station, looking like eleven kinds of vengeful rage.

Maybe it's not so bad to be Brian.