Then I get the treacherous 15th High School Reunion invite in the mail. Those bitches are relentless and I *have* to go because it conincides with going home for my sister's birthday and our hometown is so small and tightknit everyone knows I'll be home. And I know it won't matter that I'm successful and doing well in grad school and happy with my life and my friends because I'm not married and I don't have kids so obviously I'm still a big loser. I'm outside in the yard, talking to a friend on the phone about it, about how I'd totally bring a fake date but that's so lame and Hollywood and then I'll regale her with some of my bigger humilations from 15 years ago.

When I get off the phone, Bob is all, "fuck that. Let's go to your reunion."

And I'm all, "?!?!WTF!!"

But yeah, so he goes to my reunion with me and it's ridiculous and all those people *still* suck, but we totally get blitzed and mock everyone with the handful of people in my class who have not become Stepford people and then we stumble up to our rooms and end up making out for hours. AND IT IS AWESOME.

Things are sort of awkward because he's all, 'omg she's sort of my employee, that's skeezy!' but I'm all 'pshaw, get over yourself and get over *here*.' So he does. And there is MAD MAD sexing. Like, I can sort of not walk by the time the reunion weekend is over and he's not in any better shape.

And we lived happily ever after. With lots of tiny, adorable children.

The end.

For sure! It is a rare thing to find someone JUST AS RETARDEDLY SCHMOOPY AS I AM!

Well, when I actually write, I try to keep all the schmoop contained, so it only comes out in stupid shit like this.

Babies!