Dear Self,

You know, you've always known what happens if you eat the Tower's fried cauliflower. Why do you insist on partaking of its fried goodness when you pay for it for the next 24 hours?

Love,

Me

~~~~~~~

Dear UnitedHealthcare,

Bite me. Hard.

No love,

Still a Contractor without Benefits

~~~~~~~~

Dear NBC,

I hate you. I hate your ass face.

Is it so much to ask to leave a show on for the whole season? Oh, I realize Hawaii didn't have the ratings of ABC's new shows this season, but come on. Give a girl a little something.

Ass faces.

Pbbbbt,

Leah

~~~~~~~~

Dear Brain,

I know you just like to fuck with me. I know you're just sending me sentences for NaNo because I can't write then until 11/01. The words are going to dry up at 11:59pm on the 31st, aren't they.

You're an ass face too.

Your slave,

L.