carleton97 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carleton97) wrote2008-02-28 01:10 pm
carleton97) wrote2008-02-28 01:10 pm
and weather in the heart alike outtakes
Part 1
Part 2
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carleton97 wrote: Woot! Is it wrong that Pete knowing how long it takes Trish to get off is the best thing in my head right now?
exitsign wrote: Like he's TIMED HER. And she knows because of the time he popped up OUT OF NOWHERE, all teeth and giddy eyes, because she'd "beat [her] record!"
carleton97 wrote: Oh, Pete fucking Wentz. "I never knew girls could come so fast! Seriously."
exitsign wrote: "You're magic. Even your pussy is magic."
carleton97 wrote: And it's like her brain stalled out. Like, what do you even say to that? "thanks?" "I'm going to beat you to death with this sex toy?" what?
And there's NO WAY she can get back at him because he would WELCOME her a) watching him jerk off b) timing it c) TAPING it and d) letting the world see it.
exitsign wrote: Exactly. Like, by not doing it, that's pretty much all she can do. She knows he totally, like, hams it up just in case. The thought is pretty amusing.
carleton97 wrote: Yes! As if she's HIDING in the closet or some shit. Though she's contemplated paying Dirty to do just that. And burst out at an inopportune moment.
exitsign wrote: kjjkldlkdjlkj Like just when he's making that hitchy sound, the one that sounds like he's about to sneeze. WHAT. THEY LIVED IN A VAN.
carleton97 wrote: She needs to talk to someone sane. But she can only find Joe. And she tries to explain but he's all, "you beat your record? Wow!"
exitsign wrote: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY TALK ABOUT IT. OF COURSE THEY DO.
carleton97 wrote: They do! PETE HAS A CHART! He also keeps track of her cycle on it because that is just self-preservation.
exitsign wrote: the first time she sees that shit, she nearly loses her mind.
carleton97 wrote: She never really thought the whole rage killing thing was a decent alibi, but, oh, it totally is. She also didn't think it was physically possible to see red, either.
exitsign wrote: Oh, Pete has made her see the fucking RAINBOW. I love Pete so much. Even when we make him this freakish skeevey douche, I love him.
exitsign wrote: The record Pete totally does NOT know about is total # of orgasms in a session. Because she saves that shit for hotels.
carleton97 wrote: I'm imagining Trish and Bob leaving the room after Pete's interruption and Bob is all, "How does Pete know - "
"Bus. He keeps a chart." She's BRIGHT RED, but isn't going to lie to him.
"A... chart? He times you?" Bob is totally boggled. Who DOES that?
"Among other things."
"What other -" and she gives him a look like, 'what *else* would you keep on a chart for a woman. "Oh."
And they're both, like, mortally embarrassed. Dying with it. Full body blushing. but then Trish laughs because, come on. It's ridiculous. Plus they're almost to the area with other people, so she says, "I save this for hotels, so Pete doesn't know, but I can go nine times in a row."
And then she scampers off.
exitsign wrote: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE IT. I imagine her pulling a trucker hat down further, sort of half smiling and SO EMBARRASSED, and just kind of blurting it out before running off. NO EYE CONTAAAAAACT.
carleton97 wrote: YES, EXACTLY.
Like, she wanted to give him *something* that Pete hadn't had first, you know? Not like she owed him or anything lame like that, but... like a gift.
Because Pete was pretty much hanging around outside the door when she lost her virginity. And the first time she slept with a girl. And when she had the stomach flu and was terrified she was pregnant.
exitsign wrote: Pete is like this really unstable ROCK in her life. He's like the fucking boulder on pebbles in every road runner cartoon. He's always there when you need him. To... flip over and over with you as you fall down into the canyon together. Whatever. You get the point.
carleton97 wrote: Precisely. And Bob mostly gets that. He gets that Pete is this gigantic part of her life and her past. Mostly. It's sometimes hard not to be jealous of him. but then Bob remembers the time he saw Trish tackle Pete and punch him in the mouth when he wiped a booger on her.
exitsign wrote: AAHAHAHAAHAHA OH PETE, YOU BOY.
carleton97 wrote: Like, by this point, I think there's very little, if anything, sexual between Trish and Pete. I mean, she's seen him pay to teabag dudes. She really can't imagine that sexing her anymore.
Though there are times when she gets lyrics that she *loves* Pete so much it hurts her a little.
carleton97: He just loves touching her, right? Like, he's never been standoffish with the people he's dated, but he's never felt the urge to just be this affectionate, either. It sort of freaks him out when he thinks about it.
exitsign: All I have is hands, dude. Oh god, I love their stupid dorky faces.
carleton97: He's just glad they both feel the same way about pet names - as in they hate them with every fiber of their beings - because he knows he'd totally slip and call her 'baby' or something and it's bad enough the times he's woken up and found fucking Wentz in bed with them.
exitsign: AHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAH Like he wakes up, and it's all warm contentment, and he reaches over to pull her up closer against him, and gets Pete's naked hip in his hand. AND HAS TO BLEACH THAT HAND. LIKE, WITH ACTUAL BLEACH.
carleton97: He may, in fact, scream like a girl and scramble out of bed. Which brings Trish rushing in from the bathroom, a little toothpaste around her mouth. And wakes Pete up enough to pull his pajama pants up higher and stretch over the whole bed before curling up into a tiny ball and making grabby hands at Trish. She steps over Bob and sits on the edge of the bed. Pete worms over until he can get his head on her leg and starts whispering - singing almost - the words from the crumpled piece of paper he's pulled from his pocket. Trish is nodding and scratching her fingers through his hair when Bob drops a kiss on her shoulder and goes to shower.
exitsign: It's, like, half disturbing and half adorable. Okay, 90% disturbing and 10% adorable. And all the adorable is Trish-related and totally not to do with Wentz because dude is A FREAK.
But whatever.
He knew this shit when he signed up.
carleton97: Exactly!
And it totally gets him blown in the shower once Trish has sent Pete back to his room.
exitsign: It's like sorry about my weird best friend and thanks for dealing with my weird best friend all at once. Except, like, without words. Because it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
carleton97 wrote: I like to imagine that Bob had a late growth spurt, so he was just this tiny, gorgeous child for the longest time. Long enough that other boys started picking on him and shit. So once he grew and got a little chubby, he just thought, 'fuck yeah! no more harassment!' So he shaved his head and grew out his beard and generally became badass. Then along came MCR and he lost weight and his hair got long and a bajillion teenage girls started trying to take his picture.
exitsign wrote: OH HOW FAR YOU'VE COME, BOB BRYAR. AND FOR NOTHING.
carleton97 wrote: I love that so much! I want pictures of tiny bob! HE WAS ALWAYS THE ANGEL AT THE CHURCH CHRISTMAS PAGEANT.
exitsign wrote: khjasjkhakljasdklajsldkj omg Trish. Totally. Trish totally turns to jelly at the picture of angelic baby Bob. She expected, like, him to have been this dirty little badass. Possibly with a beard. Even as a child, he might have had a beard. BUT NO. HE IS AN ANGEL. HER OVARIES ARE LIKE "KABOOM."
carleton97 wrote: YESSSSSSSSS...
Frank shows her because, well, he had Ms. Bryar send him a copy in case he ever needed some heavy duty blackmail. But one day he and Trish were just hanging out, waiting for Bob to get back from his doctor's appointment for his stupid wrists and talking about growing up blah blah and he's all, "oh! I bet you've never seen this!" Like, not trying to be a douche, but more like, hey, your boyfriend is all private and shit and you haven't met his mom yet, so here.
Trish never really thought she'd want kids, but that picture was like an instant shock to her biological clock. For a minute, she was all, "we can take a couple years off from touring. Totally."
exitsign wrote: SO. MANY. PERFECT. BLOND. BABIES.
carleton97 wrote: It's like a marquee running over her face because Frank nearly sprains something laughing and he starts singing "Trish and Bob, sitting in a tree..." until she kicks him in the hip.
exitsign wrote: It leaves an awesome bruise. He shows everyone. "Hey, Mikey, come look at this bruise Trish gave me when I was mocking her for totally wanting to have Bob's babies!"
"Ooh, I want to see! Why are you just showing Mikey?"
"Because he loves me more."
"Shut the fuck up. Don't even say shit like that to me."
"LOOK AT MY BRUISE, YOU GUYS. GOD."
carleton97 wrote: And Bob comes in and is all, "Why are Frank's pants around his knees and where is my girlfriend?"
exitsign wrote: lasjlkjasklj oh Bob. He's totally desensitized to the weird shit his guys get up to. HORRIFIED BY TRISH SEEING HIS KID PICTURE, Y/N?
carleton97 wrote: Right, so frank bounces (literally) up to him, all hanging out in the breeze and hugs him.
"Oh, god. GET OFF ME!" And Bob is like scrambling back, but frank is like a monkey and just cackling because he's got his arms around bob's chest and he's wrapped his ankles around one leg, so he's not going anywhere. (Oh, god, the image of his bare ass just hanging out as he clings to Bob is KILLING ME).
Finally Bob relents and just stands there, looking up at the ceiling, wanting to DIE. "Where is Trish?"
"I showed her your baby pictures and she went off to imagine a million little bryar babies."
Bob sort of doesn't hear that last part because he's so focused on the first, "Where did you get baby pictures?"
"Your mom sent me copies. Duh."
And he really should have expected that given the way Frank had STARED at the Wall of Fame at his mom's house last year when they all stopped by. He'd been fascinated by teeny, tiny uber blond Bob. He's not exactly enraged, but he's not calm either. Sharing pictures is weird for him. He's got to really feel it to let someone in like that.
He was planning on swinging by his Mom's with Trish when they got to Chicago next week.
So he's sort of mad Frank took that away from him and does some sort of ninja move where he gets his arms between Frank and his own body, grabs him by the armpits and sort of heaves him onto Ray.
Who squeals and flails because, "Jesus fuck, Frankie! Get that out of my face!"
Part 2
carleton97 wrote: Woot! Is it wrong that Pete knowing how long it takes Trish to get off is the best thing in my head right now? exitsign wrote: Like he's TIMED HER. And she knows because of the time he popped up OUT OF NOWHERE, all teeth and giddy eyes, because she'd "beat [her] record!" carleton97 wrote: Oh, Pete fucking Wentz. "I never knew girls could come so fast! Seriously." exitsign wrote: "You're magic. Even your pussy is magic." carleton97 wrote: And it's like her brain stalled out. Like, what do you even say to that? "thanks?" "I'm going to beat you to death with this sex toy?" what? And there's NO WAY she can get back at him because he would WELCOME her a) watching him jerk off b) timing it c) TAPING it and d) letting the world see it.
exitsign wrote: Exactly. Like, by not doing it, that's pretty much all she can do. She knows he totally, like, hams it up just in case. The thought is pretty amusing. carleton97 wrote: Yes! As if she's HIDING in the closet or some shit. Though she's contemplated paying Dirty to do just that. And burst out at an inopportune moment. exitsign wrote: kjjkldlkdjlkj Like just when he's making that hitchy sound, the one that sounds like he's about to sneeze. WHAT. THEY LIVED IN A VAN. carleton97 wrote: She needs to talk to someone sane. But she can only find Joe. And she tries to explain but he's all, "you beat your record? Wow!" exitsign wrote: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY TALK ABOUT IT. OF COURSE THEY DO. carleton97 wrote: They do! PETE HAS A CHART! He also keeps track of her cycle on it because that is just self-preservation. exitsign wrote: the first time she sees that shit, she nearly loses her mind. carleton97 wrote: She never really thought the whole rage killing thing was a decent alibi, but, oh, it totally is. She also didn't think it was physically possible to see red, either. exitsign wrote: Oh, Pete has made her see the fucking RAINBOW. I love Pete so much. Even when we make him this freakish skeevey douche, I love him. exitsign wrote: The record Pete totally does NOT know about is total # of orgasms in a session. Because she saves that shit for hotels. carleton97 wrote: I'm imagining Trish and Bob leaving the room after Pete's interruption and Bob is all, "How does Pete know - " "Bus. He keeps a chart." She's BRIGHT RED, but isn't going to lie to him.
"A... chart? He times you?" Bob is totally boggled. Who DOES that?
"Among other things."
"What other -" and she gives him a look like, 'what *else* would you keep on a chart for a woman. "Oh."
And they're both, like, mortally embarrassed. Dying with it. Full body blushing. but then Trish laughs because, come on. It's ridiculous. Plus they're almost to the area with other people, so she says, "I save this for hotels, so Pete doesn't know, but I can go nine times in a row."
And then she scampers off.
exitsign wrote: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE IT. I imagine her pulling a trucker hat down further, sort of half smiling and SO EMBARRASSED, and just kind of blurting it out before running off. NO EYE CONTAAAAAACT. carleton97 wrote: YES, EXACTLY. Like, she wanted to give him *something* that Pete hadn't had first, you know? Not like she owed him or anything lame like that, but... like a gift.
Because Pete was pretty much hanging around outside the door when she lost her virginity. And the first time she slept with a girl. And when she had the stomach flu and was terrified she was pregnant.
exitsign wrote: Pete is like this really unstable ROCK in her life. He's like the fucking boulder on pebbles in every road runner cartoon. He's always there when you need him. To... flip over and over with you as you fall down into the canyon together. Whatever. You get the point. carleton97 wrote: Precisely. And Bob mostly gets that. He gets that Pete is this gigantic part of her life and her past. Mostly. It's sometimes hard not to be jealous of him. but then Bob remembers the time he saw Trish tackle Pete and punch him in the mouth when he wiped a booger on her. exitsign wrote: AAHAHAHAAHAHA OH PETE, YOU BOY. carleton97 wrote: Like, by this point, I think there's very little, if anything, sexual between Trish and Pete. I mean, she's seen him pay to teabag dudes. She really can't imagine that sexing her anymore. Though there are times when she gets lyrics that she *loves* Pete so much it hurts her a little.
carleton97: He just loves touching her, right? Like, he's never been standoffish with the people he's dated, but he's never felt the urge to just be this affectionate, either. It sort of freaks him out when he thinks about it. exitsign: All I have is hands, dude. Oh god, I love their stupid dorky faces. carleton97: He's just glad they both feel the same way about pet names - as in they hate them with every fiber of their beings - because he knows he'd totally slip and call her 'baby' or something and it's bad enough the times he's woken up and found fucking Wentz in bed with them. exitsign: AHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAAH Like he wakes up, and it's all warm contentment, and he reaches over to pull her up closer against him, and gets Pete's naked hip in his hand. AND HAS TO BLEACH THAT HAND. LIKE, WITH ACTUAL BLEACH. carleton97: He may, in fact, scream like a girl and scramble out of bed. Which brings Trish rushing in from the bathroom, a little toothpaste around her mouth. And wakes Pete up enough to pull his pajama pants up higher and stretch over the whole bed before curling up into a tiny ball and making grabby hands at Trish. She steps over Bob and sits on the edge of the bed. Pete worms over until he can get his head on her leg and starts whispering - singing almost - the words from the crumpled piece of paper he's pulled from his pocket. Trish is nodding and scratching her fingers through his hair when Bob drops a kiss on her shoulder and goes to shower. exitsign: It's, like, half disturbing and half adorable. Okay, 90% disturbing and 10% adorable. And all the adorable is Trish-related and totally not to do with Wentz because dude is A FREAK. But whatever.
He knew this shit when he signed up.
carleton97: Exactly! And it totally gets him blown in the shower once Trish has sent Pete back to his room.
exitsign: It's like sorry about my weird best friend and thanks for dealing with my weird best friend all at once. Except, like, without words. Because it's rude to talk with your mouth full. carleton97 wrote: I like to imagine that Bob had a late growth spurt, so he was just this tiny, gorgeous child for the longest time. Long enough that other boys started picking on him and shit. So once he grew and got a little chubby, he just thought, 'fuck yeah! no more harassment!' So he shaved his head and grew out his beard and generally became badass. Then along came MCR and he lost weight and his hair got long and a bajillion teenage girls started trying to take his picture. exitsign wrote: OH HOW FAR YOU'VE COME, BOB BRYAR. AND FOR NOTHING. carleton97 wrote: I love that so much! I want pictures of tiny bob! HE WAS ALWAYS THE ANGEL AT THE CHURCH CHRISTMAS PAGEANT. exitsign wrote: khjasjkhakljasdklajsldkj omg Trish. Totally. Trish totally turns to jelly at the picture of angelic baby Bob. She expected, like, him to have been this dirty little badass. Possibly with a beard. Even as a child, he might have had a beard. BUT NO. HE IS AN ANGEL. HER OVARIES ARE LIKE "KABOOM." carleton97 wrote: YESSSSSSSSS... Frank shows her because, well, he had Ms. Bryar send him a copy in case he ever needed some heavy duty blackmail. But one day he and Trish were just hanging out, waiting for Bob to get back from his doctor's appointment for his stupid wrists and talking about growing up blah blah and he's all, "oh! I bet you've never seen this!" Like, not trying to be a douche, but more like, hey, your boyfriend is all private and shit and you haven't met his mom yet, so here.
Trish never really thought she'd want kids, but that picture was like an instant shock to her biological clock. For a minute, she was all, "we can take a couple years off from touring. Totally."
exitsign wrote: SO. MANY. PERFECT. BLOND. BABIES. carleton97 wrote: It's like a marquee running over her face because Frank nearly sprains something laughing and he starts singing "Trish and Bob, sitting in a tree..." until she kicks him in the hip. exitsign wrote: It leaves an awesome bruise. He shows everyone. "Hey, Mikey, come look at this bruise Trish gave me when I was mocking her for totally wanting to have Bob's babies!" "Ooh, I want to see! Why are you just showing Mikey?"
"Because he loves me more."
"Shut the fuck up. Don't even say shit like that to me."
"LOOK AT MY BRUISE, YOU GUYS. GOD."
carleton97 wrote: And Bob comes in and is all, "Why are Frank's pants around his knees and where is my girlfriend?" exitsign wrote: lasjlkjasklj oh Bob. He's totally desensitized to the weird shit his guys get up to. HORRIFIED BY TRISH SEEING HIS KID PICTURE, Y/N? carleton97 wrote: Right, so frank bounces (literally) up to him, all hanging out in the breeze and hugs him. "Oh, god. GET OFF ME!" And Bob is like scrambling back, but frank is like a monkey and just cackling because he's got his arms around bob's chest and he's wrapped his ankles around one leg, so he's not going anywhere. (Oh, god, the image of his bare ass just hanging out as he clings to Bob is KILLING ME).
Finally Bob relents and just stands there, looking up at the ceiling, wanting to DIE. "Where is Trish?"
"I showed her your baby pictures and she went off to imagine a million little bryar babies."
Bob sort of doesn't hear that last part because he's so focused on the first, "Where did you get baby pictures?"
"Your mom sent me copies. Duh."
And he really should have expected that given the way Frank had STARED at the Wall of Fame at his mom's house last year when they all stopped by. He'd been fascinated by teeny, tiny uber blond Bob. He's not exactly enraged, but he's not calm either. Sharing pictures is weird for him. He's got to really feel it to let someone in like that.
He was planning on swinging by his Mom's with Trish when they got to Chicago next week.
So he's sort of mad Frank took that away from him and does some sort of ninja move where he gets his arms between Frank and his own body, grabs him by the armpits and sort of heaves him onto Ray.
Who squeals and flails because, "Jesus fuck, Frankie! Get that out of my face!"